As we are pulling up to the hospital, the ER parking lot is full so we have to drive around the corner to the parking garage. The second that garage came into my vision I got a knot in my throat. I was instantly sick to my stomach. I was FLOODED with emotion. Everytime I have ever been in that parking garage, you could have caught me violently sobbing in my car. That garage is where I have to park to visit his Developmental Pediatrician. Before every visit the waterworks begin, I sit until they are under control so I can get through his appointment without crying. The second we hit that elevator to the level where my car is parked i lose it. I sit in my car sometimes for over an hour sobbing, trying to digest everything that was just told to me in Recker's appointments (usually not good news). That parking garage represents sadness. So as Jeremy and I pull into that same garage to take Recks to the ER, I couldn't hold back the emotion, i was brought to tears. Tears that were lost on Jeremy, he did not understand. Unfortunately I have to attend these appointments alone, so Jeremy has never seen me at those vulnerable moments sobbing in my car. I used to shy away from things or events that I assumed were "too difficult to do alone," I can't do that anymore. I have learned how strong I really am. Whether it be because that strength has always been here, hidden within, Or i have just been forced to become stronger. I have done and overcome so many things the past year that i just KNEW there was NO WAY i was going to be able to do it, to face it, or to admit it. But I was FORCED to pull that strength from somewhere, I needed to to be an advocate for Recker, to get through my days, to be a wife and mother.
Anyways we were received and admitted quickly into the ER. We were in our own room for over 3 hours! Recker has ear infections in both ears and a really NASTY fever. Well he absolutely refuses to take any antibiotics! We've tried EVERYTHING from mixing it into chocolate milk, juice, applesauce, holding him down and force feeding it, EVERTHING. He throws it up within seconds. So they gave him double shots in both his thighs. Poor guy, it took 5 adults to hold him down (two were men)! But at least we don't have to fight him to take meds! He is doing ok, but his fever keeps slipping back up. Hopefully we won't end up back at the doctors again anytime soon!