Monday, January 30, 2012

...Not fair for the "NORMAL" kids?!! Are you KIDDING ME?

August 31, 2011



So i've had quite an eventful couple weeks, starting with recker missing many therapies because of being sooooo sick. After about two weeks of sick bebe he is finally feeling better, just in time for me to get pink eye last week. So i went to the doctor, and as im sitting there in the waiting room the lady next to me asked me if i went to Yale (because i had my Yale School of Medicine shirt on) i told her, no and that my son has Autism and that Recker is apart of their Autism Research Program, then i proceeded to tell her what i do for work and how much i love it.

This is the shortened version of our conversation...

Ignorant Woman: "Oh my nephew is autism (yes she said it like that, should have been my first clue) and they try to stick in in with the normal kids but i just don't think it makes any sense, its not doing ANYONE any good having him with NORMAL kids, he should be in a school with other kids like how he is. Where i lived in Michigan we had separate schools--- " (i cut her off)

Me: "Well yeah we usually do try and integrate them with the "typical" classes at least through specials or if they can handle it, a lot of kids with disabilities or ASD are fully included in the classrooms either by themselves or with an aide, which is awesome and i think what most parent's and teachers goal is. Also there are sooo many LAWS ensuring that children with disablities get the same opportunities of education that "typical" kids do. They are guaranteed the right to be in a classroom that will challenge them and help them learn and grow whether it be a fully inclusion or not.


Ignorant Woman: "Yeah well my son has a autism kid in his class with him and he has an aide with him all the time, and he wears this heavy vest thing. I just honestly dont think its fair for all the 'NORMAL' kids in the class. The autism kid is so distracting with his aide, vest and he makes all kinds of noises and flaps his hands and stuff. Its just NOT FAIR FOR THE NORMAL KIDS to have to deal with that while they are trying to learn. Its just doing anyone any good having those kids in normal classes with normal---" (the doctor came out and called her name)

After she went back into the back room, i left the doctors office without being seen because i was soooo upset. I was sick to my stomach, furious, sad, confused and honestly i didnt want to see that lady again, i was afraid i was going to LOSE it on her! I can not believe that there are people who think like this, and who would actually SAY those things to a MOTHER of a child who has ASD and to someone who works in a special education classroom. I was and still am just sick. I am pretty sensitive but i pride myself when it comes to being tough about things like this, but honestly, im afraid. As a parent of a child with ASD i will be dealing with this for the rest of our lives, how am i going to deal with people this ignorant and horrible? What am i going to do when its MY child that is being disruptive and all the parents doing think its fair that Recker is distracting their kids in class. I have another year to toughen up before he hits preschool. I just honestly can not believe that people actually say some of the things they say, why do they think its ok to say whatever they think to whoever they want? I am just blown away! It reminds me of my mom when she was going through chemo, all the things people would come up to her and say about HER HAIR. We talk about it at work all the time how some people just seriously have nooo FILTERS, and how we are just surprised and mostly disgusted at people thinking they can just say whatever they want.


Well on a lighter BETTER note!....Several of Reck's therapist suggested we try a GFCF (gluten free-caesin free, aka dairy free) diet and we've started part of it. We took Recker off of dairy a few weeks ago and honestly i can NOT even begin to tell you how much it has affected and HELPED him!! Here are just a few examples:

-The other day i walked into his room where he was being SUPER quiet (usually means he's gotten ahold of my something that he's not supposed to have. I walked in there and he was SITTING (let me tell you how just him sitting is amazing, he usually squats or bounces around, never can sit still AT ALL!) he was sitting there STACKING BLOCKS!!!!!! His therapists have worked on his fine motor by stacking blocks and he couldnt even stack 2 blocks, one on top of another. I walked into his room, he is sitting there stacking 3 blocks and i added a couple more and he stacked those. Not only was he stacking, he was doing it in a specific way, making sure it was the colored letter side facing the right way. Jeremy and i just stood there in absolute SHOCK as tears ran down our faces.

-His eye contact has improved tremendously! He is interacting with us sooo much more, in a more intentional way.

-He is showing us what he wants! He will bring us a movie he wants to watch, if he wants to play with the ball he will bring it to us and hand it to me, he brings me books. He will bring me his empty cup, shake it showing me its empty and then hand it to me to refill for him. He has started grabbing our hands and pulling us into his room or the kitchen, trying to communicate that there is something he wants.  HE SEEKS US OUT!

-The best improvement yet is his speech, he babbles and jabbers SOOOO soooo SOooOOoOOo much more! He has started to say "BALL", and yesterday jeremy was eating cookies and recker wanted one so like we do with everything, he said "COOKIE" to recker before he gave him one, and Recker REPEATED IT! he said cookie...HE SAID COOKIE!!! He said it sooooo many times yesterday i was in tears, i heard his voice! that probably sounds weird considering he jabbers all the time, but to hear him say a word again (he hasnt spoken a word since he was 11 months old when he would say "mommommom" and "dadadada") it actually was sooo clear and it sounded like a real word. I mean when he says "ball" and "byebye" its not actually the whole thing, he makes the "B" sound and tries, but the word COOKIE was clear as day.

These examples may seem small and simple to you but to my husband and i, we are just THRILLED and overwhelmed at how much just taking dairy out of recker's diet has helped, Recker has had us in happy tears for the past week or two! We couldn't be happier! I want to try the full GFCF diet and see if it helps more. I am worried though, it seems like such a difficult diet to stick by. But if it will help Recker, Jeremy and i will try anything!



PS....Blakes been on his mission for two years and gets home in less than a month! I was pregnant with Recker when he left, so he has NEVER met him! I cant wait, September 29th they finally get to meet....


1 comment:

  1. I tried to comment on the blogher.com version of this post but Livefyre connectivity issues complicated things :(

    I couldn't agree more! As a mom with two "NORMAL" <what does this mean???) boys, one in Kindergarten and one in first grade, I have seen how children DON'T judge or exclude or think less of those kiddos in their classes who need extra attention. The aides for these kids have recognized my boys outside of school for their friendly inclusion and ability to interact with ALL their classmates. My first grader LOVES his 'special needs' friends, saying they have a cool way to say hi to each other with a high-five on days his friend can't talk, and eagerly collecting up books he knew he was into to send to his house when he was too ill to attend school for an extended period. Adults are the problem, but in a school setting the adults there are more focused on moving everyone forward TOGETHER so staff should be supportive of fostering relationships between your son and his classmates. Have faith that the children have no preconceived notions and are just excited to be there and learn and play with your son. This woman is an ignorant black-eye on society, but unfortunately people aren't as vocal about opinions when they're loving and supportive. We should be though, if for no other reason than to counteract this woman's sharp, unkind, and uninformed words to you. Best of luck to you and Recker Jay!!

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